Emotion: Loneliness (versus Aloneness)

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As they pertain to emotions, my interpretation of  “aloneness” and “loneliness” are:

• Aloneness – a geographical separation, apartness or isolation from other people (your health condition can contribute or cause you to be separate and alone); a mental separation from others (such as being focused in an activity by yourself).
• Loneliness – a separation from others due to a lack of connection with people, or lacking emotional support, compassion and encouragement.

This first photo demonstrates “aloneness” to me. Even though one can feel alone and lonely at the same time, I get a feeling of peace, calmness, content and warmth from looking at this photo. The butterfly is alone and immersed in collecting nectar, but does not appear to be lonely at all.

Sweet Butterfly, a photo by Fergiemoto on Flickr.  (click on photo to enlarge)

I used the second photo below to demonstrate emotional loneliness. Even though people may be physically very close, the emotional distance between them can be as far apart as the planet Pluto is from the Sun. They are not looking at each other, they are not connecting, they are not listening to each other, and they may not be supporting each other emotionally. I also feel a lack of compassion. The snow and ice also adds to the coldness of this photo.

Cold Chickadees, a photo by Fergiemoto on Flickr.  (click on photo to enlarge)

>>:::<<
Sitting together
an admirable closeness
Deafening silence
>>:::<<

I’m using one of my artwork “tools” again to help address emotions.  See my posting on Addressing Emotional Pain #2 – Tools.

Other postings in my “Emotion:” series:

• Emotion: Anger
• Emotion: Fear
• Emotion: Discouraged
• Emotion: DoWnS and uPs
• Emotion: Irritable
• Emotion: Anticipation
• Emotion: Joy

Support and Encouragement

A Friend, a photo by Fergiemoto on Flickr.  (click on photo to enlarge)

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True friends and family fly to you when you don’t have the ability to fly yourself.  They support, comfort and encourage you physically and emotionally.  ~ Fergiemoto

Finch (right):  “I’m so discouraged.”
Junco (left):  “I’m there for you.  How can I help?  You can talk to me…I really mean it.”

Remember that close friends and relatives struggling with chronic/invisible illnesses or pain need us to be there for them.  Here are some ways to show support and encouragement:

• Slow down.  Listen with your whole body and 100% of your attention.  Look at them and acknowledge you are truly hearing what they are saying.  To the person talking, this is more valuable than all the gold in the world.  Never underestimate the power of holding the space for someone who needs a listening ear. You may be their life-line.
• Let them know you are truly there for them and that you are listening.  Silence when a person needs to know someone is really there can lead them to feel lonely.
• Avoid interrupting them while they are talking.  Let them finish speaking before you respond.  When you are talking, you are not listening.
• Allow the person to feel just as they are.  Avoid judgment, lecturing, criticizing, ridiculing, etc.  Telling them to tough it out, quit complaining, pull it together, they have a low pain tolerance, they’re crazy, it’s not a big deal, or threatening to stay away can lead to negative results.  Sometimes the pain inside is much more intense than the pain they are showing.
• Be there with them, physically and emotionally.  Don’t try to fix it.

“Celebrate The Small Successes!”

Baby steps…toddler steps…sometimes this is the pace we have to take to achieve our end goals and desires.  Overcoming any kind of struggle can be very daunting, frustrating and discouraging, and setting large goals can seem overwhelming.  They require patience that sometimes we don’t think we have anymore.  It’s easy to get over-ambitious and all too often, we are looking for an overnight success, which is understandable.  In the meantime, we overlook and neglect the small accomplishments that lead to larger victories.  Busy schedules can bog us down; pain can seem to overtake our entire waking moments that we wonder if there is ever an end; then we miss the chance to celebrate those wins.  Progress is good at any level because it means we are headed in the right direction.  I realize this is easier said than done.  Believe me, I’ve been there many times.

When you have a success, do you say a quick “yay”, move on as if nothing special happened, and then rarely or never give it another thought?  The next time you have a success, remember this:  Recognize…Reward…and Celebrate!  You are working hard to reach your goal, so don’t brush it aside.  The body and mind need the reinforcement and encouragement.  When you celebrate, you are helping to breed an attitude of “I’m successful” to your mind, which will then breed more success.  One success leads to another to another and hopefully you will accelerate the process of reaching your goals, i.e., the snowball effect.  Mental health affects physical health.

A Short History of Medicine (Joke)

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A Short History of Medicine

“Doctor, I have an ear ache.”

2000 BC – “Here, eat this root.”

1000 BC – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”

1850 AD – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”

1940 AD – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”

1985 AD – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”

2000 AD – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”

The source of this joke is unknown, but when I saw it on Magsx2 blog, it caught my attention.  (I can really relate to the last line of the joke!)