“If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
I’ve described this blog as “my continuous journey to find my self.” Life throws us unexpected changes, which often makes us change course. That’s why the journey is continuous. Just when I thought I had figured out my path, something drastic changed. So, I am currently “in between paths” again.
Several years ago, I was working for a Fortune 100 company with a great job, a great career and lots of responsibility. For my age, I was doing well and hoped this would be my career path. I had worked nonstop for many years and took on heavy loads to get there. However, I was oblivious to the stress that had been gradually building over the years. I was a train wreck waiting to happen. I became exhausted regularly, but I had also survived many tough situations and kept on going…kept on going…kept on going going…until one day I felt like I had run head-on into a brick wall! My body dropped to the floor and couldn’t move! It yelled, “no more!” and shut down. I was stuck to the floor and needed help getting up. Eventually, my doctor told me what I never wanted to hear – that I had to choose between my health and my job. I remember very vividly hearing him say, “Bad things happen to people who don’t listen to their bodies.” He said I needed to make a significant change and live a more balanced life if I wanted to get better.
So, I was forced to redefine myself. I struggled for a while because the work life I knew no longer existed. What was I to do? Well, I cut back to part-time work. I also learned how to cook beyond ordinary dishes, garden and got involved in lots of volunteer work. I never fully accepted that I had to leave my career, but I was adjusting to my new life and enjoying it more.
Until whamo! Something drastic changed again.
Along the road to recovery, other debilitating medical problems surfaced, which remain undiagnosed to this day. Several months of doctor visits, ER visits, tests, prescription drugs, and hospital stays couldn’t provide any explanations. Eventually, I was told by many doctors that there was nothing more they could do for me. That answer was unacceptable to me, but I had run out of options…that is, until my counselor encouraged me to try acupuncture and gave me the name and phone number of his acupuncturist. He said that Western medicine might no longer be the answer for me and to give alternative medicine a try. Because of a lack of information, I didn’t know how acupuncture could help. I was skeptical, but had nothing to lose and made my first appointment. I’m really glad I did! Today I have an excellent treatment team who focus more on alternative, oriental, and holistic medicine.
So again, I am on another path to redefine my self. What will that be? Only time will tell.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me.